CHAMPAGNE JERRY DOGGED BY CONTROVERSY
ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE ON EARTH, CHAMPAGNE JERRY, FACES INCREASING BACKLASH
RAPPER IS HUNTED AND HAUNTED BY PREVIOUS COMMENTS, ACTIONS, PREPARES TO MAKE FULL PUBLIC APOLOGY IN NEW STATEMENT

Feb. 15, 2014 "Fuck that! I'm not sorry for shit!! Matter of fact, I'm basically proud of everything I do!!" -- Champagne Jerry
February 22, 2014 "I can't decide if I'm actually sorry or if I'm not sorry." -- Champagne Jerry
March 3, 2014 "Dear America, and also all the other countries of the world. It's me, Champagne Jerry. I would like to clear up a few things that I have said in recent weeks in the hopes that we will all be able to move past this unfortunate episode.
(cameras flash)
"I wish to extend my deepest apologies, not just 'I'm sorry that you feel that way' apologies, but my sincerest apologies to everyone who may have been hurt, directly or indirectly, in this and in all media now existing or to be invented in the future, amen.
I'll outline exactly what I'm apologizing for me here, in my newest song for you all:

APOLOGIES DETECTED"
-- Champagne Jerry

(Apologies Detected has a beat by Max Tannone and lyrics by Champagne Jerry)