BREAKING NEWS

I'm into having sex with people!
Dateline: New York City, February 2014
Some of these people with whom I would like to have sex with are on television and at least one of them has her own TV show. And that person is named Erin Burnett.
One time, I was in a hotel in Minneapolis where I stayed up until 5 AM drinking champagne and writing Champagne Jerry songs for the very first time. On my TV set was the CNN channel. It was at that fateful moment that this song was born. My hotel-room-mate awoke in the night to hear me singing into my laptop: "Erin Burnett, come out of the TV box and fuck the shit out of me." He seemed concerned at breakfast the next morning.
[ed.] This story has been updated. Earlier versions stated, incorrectly, that Champagne Jerry was drinking Four Lokos in Minneapolis. We regret the error.

music: Max Tannone; lyrics: Champagne Jerry