I just checked my watch, and this ain't no time to sit down. This ain't no time to fuck around. This ain't no time to not make a sound. It's time to GET THE FUCK UP.
Once upon a time, I was having a horrible year. not this year, because as you all know, this is My Year. But in the past, due to the Ghost of Champagne Past, shit wasn't so great.
So I was running through the snow, crushed, broke, almost beaten. That was when I met Farris Craddock: youth pastor, sergeant at arms, hype man and the man who introduced me to my Great Commission. He made me realize I was sent here to deliver the world from pain and introduce it to a world of champagne, softball, business sex and medium-sized genitalia.
I have been sent here to tell you to GET THE FUCK UP.
music: Max Tannone; lyrics: Champagne Jerry